He also dreams of becoming a hospital
chaplain once he graduates in 2005

PHILADELPHIA (October 22, 2003) -- Kevin Wardlaw recalls an occasion during the summer of 2001 when it really hit home that doing hospital ministry is a "gift" from God.

Wardlaw, an Urban Theological Institute scholar at LTSP, tells of visiting an elderly patient at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania as part of his Clinical Pastoral Education (CPE) training requirement from the seminary. The World War II veteran "was bitter at God," Wardlaw recalls. "He told me faith is just a fairy tale. He said he believes God is on an ego trip, that God only cares about God and not us."

Wardlaw says he listened carefully to the patient's story. The man went on to describe "near misses" in life where he might have died. After Wardlaw listened for a while he said he "tried to help him think about God in a different light. I said to him, 'Suppose you were in a war and on a ship that is sinking at sea. An older man, who is a father, decides to give up a seat in a lifeboat to a younger sailor who is not yet married. That's what I believe God's love is like.'"

Wardlaw said the man began to cry. The seminarian's illustration had reminded the veteran of an incident in his own life when a young man had died aboard ship and the older veteran had been able to live on. "For years he had been blaming himself about that," Wardlaw says. "I have discovered at times like that, that listening is a big part of ministry, and it is a gift to be able to listen to patient stories and help them find meaning in suffering. I've discovered confidence in my ability to do that kind of listening and ministry in a hospital setting." Wardlaw plans to become a hospital chaplain after he graduates, hopefully in 2005.

The Marlton, NJ, resident, a member of Bethel African Methodist Episcopal Church, is well on his way to achieving his goals. He received recent confirmation for the "call" he is pursuing when on October 10 he became the second recipient of the J.Q. Jackson Scholarship award during the annual UTI orientation banquet. The scholarship is named for the Rev. J. Q. Jackson who, after receiving a degree in 1949 from LTSP, went on to serve successfully for many years as a parish pastor in Philadelphia's Germantown.

Wardlaw is the great grandson of slaves. His father, the late William Wardlaw, was a Buffalo Soldier in the Army's 10th Cavalry who was once assigned to the U.S. Military Academy at West Point, where he taught cadets to ride horses. His mom, the late Marie Louise, was a nurse. He was raised in the Episcopal Church in New York City's Queens Borough. "We always had the sense growing up that we were supposed to help others and share what we had," Wardlaw recalls. Money was definitely not the driving force of life.

Now, like many UTI scholars, Wardlaw juggles hitting the books with raising a family and holding a job. He's married to wife, Kim, and the couple has two daughters, Jennifer, 15, and Jocelyn, 11. He credits his family with helping him endure what has been a six-year journey so far through seminary. For 20 years he has been a sales representative in the textbooks field, working for three different enterprises.

"I first heard the call to ministry in 1994," Wardlaw recalls, saying he was responding to preaching he had heard in his congregation. "It was overpowering me." Wardlaw says he has always been able to "speak well" and he had successfully preached a "trial sermon" in his parish in 1995. A former pastor had recommended to him that he consider the possibility he was being called to ordained ministry. He decided in 1997 to begin his studies at LTSP. "I took one course at a time until I gained confidence in going back to school again," Wardlaw says. Now he takes up to two courses a semester and perhaps one each summer. That he's excelling as a scholar is probably not a surprise. He graduated with honors from the University of Pennsylvania in 1982.

How is he feeling these days about the career direction that has surfaced in his life since talking on seminary classes?

"It feels more right now," he says. "Sometimes I stop and think about what is happening and it is overwhelming. Needs in the world are so great, and I sometimes wonder, 'Why me?' But through my studies and CPE I've come to a greater understanding of how I can make a difference."

In looking for a place to undertake seminary training, Wardlaw says he first encountered the Rev. Dr. Andrew Willis, a co-founded and co-director of the UTI, an evening program that helps scholars improve their backgrounds while they study part-time. Many of the UTI scholars are African Americans who already play key leadership roles in their congregations, some as pastors.

"I found right away that people at the seminary are very warm," Wardlaw says. He also appreciates that no time limit restriction is placed on when students must complete their studies. "I've appreciated that the UTI has an African American focus," he says, "and how that focus is integrated throughout the curriculum." The focus takes into account the perspectives of all kinds of diversity, he says. "That perspective means a lot, because when you have a goal to become a hospital chaplain you need to be aware that you are there for everyone in the hospital setting," he says. That diversity comes in many practical forms in the UTI student body, Wardlaw says. He noted student colleagues hail from backgrounds such as the African Methodist Episcopal tradition, the American Baptist Churches and more Pentecostal persuasions such as the Church of God in Christ. He says he has come to appreciate the Lutheran tradition as a foundational Protestant perspective. But he adds that at this point in his journey study with his colleagues and friends and the seminary faculty makes the UTI "feel very much like a family." A highlight was a globalization trip he once made with other LTSP students to the Middle East. Professor Elizabeth Huwiler was a leader on that journey.

Does he have advice for other seminarians and those contemplating a seminary journey?

"There will be struggles along the way," he says, noting it is not always to maintain a schedule of work, family and studying on campus two nights a week and Saturday. Wardlaw had hip replacement surgery in 2001, and his father died in 1998. "I see others struggling sometimes, and seminary study is not something to enter into lightly. But when I see someone else who seems to have the weight of the world on his or her shoulders I urge them to pray and be reverent and patient with themselves and God. I suggest that they follow the timetable that is between them and the Lord."

As for himself, he says simply, "I try to nurture what God has given to me. Right now that includes the ability to be a student and to learn."